Focus. Being Refined.

This summer my daughter was invited to one of the most extravagant birthday parties I have been to.  It was for twins and their grandma is a party planner, and it was at a pony farm.  There were almost 100 guests.  Vases of beautiful flowers adorned the tables where a fully catered meal was served.  A photo booth was set up, there were animals to feed and play with, hay rides, and of course, pony rides. And did I mention they rented a gelato truck to give out treats to all the guests?

At the end, L collected her party favor bag and was also given a blue helium balloon to take with her.  We got into the hot car and she asked me to put the windows down in the backseat.  Within a few seconds, her balloon was whisked out the window and she burst into tears.  Now, maybe she was tired after all the excitement of the day, but I admit, it made me upset to hear her crying over a silly balloon that was going to be deflated in 24 hours anyway.  I launched into a fullblown lecture.

"Are you seriously going to cry about the one thing that went wrong?  You need to think about all the wonderful things that you got to do.  You got to hold bunnies!  You got to eat cake!  You got to drink pop!  You got fun photo booth pictures!  You got to ride a pony!  You got to eat gelato!  You got party favors!  And here you are crying over a silly old balloon?!  All you can do is think about the one thing that went wrong?"

I was so frustrated that my six year old couldn't be thankful for the good she was given, but could only focus on the small thing that went wrong.

It took a couple of days before it hit me...I do this.  All the time.  To God.

When I encounter a bump in the road, a trial, a hurt...I oh-so-easily focus all my attention on what's wrong.  And forget all about the many blessings that I just take for granted.  And once again, being a parent has allowed me just a little insight into how that must make God feel.  And I am sorry.

Thank you, L, for opening my eyes.  Thank you, One Thousand Gifts, for helping me shift my focus. 

Let me be refined. 

Bring it to Me | Being Refined

Is it just me, or is parenting a refining process?

Much like marriage, it exposes our sinful tendencies, our pride, our selfishness.  Or maybe it's just me, finding myself on my knees, pleading with God for more patience, more love, more selflessness.

And there are those times when I see little glimpses of God's feelings toward me.  It is always so comforting to know that God sees us as His children, and that because of Jesus, he sees us as unblemished as a newborn baby.  And LOVES us more (is it possible?) than the love that floods our hearts when we see that perfect little bundle of joy for the first time.

Sometimes in my parenting, often when I am exasperated, I catch myself saying something to one of my children and it dawns on me that I need to follow my own instructions.

For instance, this morning I was ironing while M was playing with dress-up clothes.  She was adorning herself with necklace after necklace when she became exasperated with a tangled yellow strand of beads. 

"Bring it to mama and I'll fix it for you," I told her while I continued on with my ironing.  She didn't listen, but continued to struggle with the necklace, pulling the knot even tighter.  The fact was, she didn't want my help.  She wanted to fix it on her own.  But at two and a half, there was no way she could know how to untangle it; she was only making things worse and getting mad about it.  Finally, after some tears, she gave in and brought the necklace to me, where I quickly unraveled the knot for her.

I returned to ironing and the words I had repeated over and over to M played in my head: "Just bring it to me."

How often have I had a problem that I wrestled with on my own?  That I struggled to fix or understand without seeking God first?  And when things didn't resolve, I got mad, frustrated, shed tears.  Just like Molly.  I refused to let go and allow God to work in my heart and trust Him with the situation.  Such a simple realization, but my parenting epiphany of the day is that God wants us to just bring it to Him.

EDIT:
in our liturgy on Sunday morning:

Lord, you urged us to ask for "anything in your name."
Forgive us when we think we need to solve our own problems in our own strength.