my heart is so tender these days. so much hurt in this world. so many of you carrying the weight of one sadness or another.
when your child is hurt, as a parent all you want to do is fix it. it's really hard when you don't know *how* to fix it, or *if* you can fix it. i'm sure everyone reaches that point with their children at some point, and maybe it just seems harder when they are still so young and innocent.
the biggest lesson i've learned is to take it one day at a time. this doesn't come easily to me as i love to plan and pack as much into a day as i can. i hold everything loosely now, everything hinging on molly's next bloodwork results.
our sermon on Sunday was about how control is an illusion. it's hard to feel out of control...but it forces me to confront why it's hard: what exactly am i afraid of, and why. the Bible says "Do not be afraid" 365 times and while I am not fearless every day, I do sense that God is present with me in that fear, holding us.
i'm grateful that molly is relatively unphased by everything that's been going on. in fact, she's gotten brave about blood draws (thanks to Renee for her poke presents) and thinks the children's hospital is a fun place where she can watch movies and drink slushies and be at the center of mommy and daddy's attention.
she really provides the perfect example of childlike faith. she is not afraid. she does not see death as bad but as an opportunity to get to see what heaven is like. and she reminds me of that eternal perspective often. i love to tell her she's my sunshine and just the other day she said "No, Mommy, I'm God's sunshine."
another thing: we are blessed by all those prayers and comments and kind gestures. i am so grateful and hope one day molly will be moved by the many people who were praying for her.
